The Blame of those ye Better
There’s a fascinating foreign policy rhetoric that I’ve seen with increasing frequency recently. It’s used to justify the scope of U.S. intervention by conservatives who ought otherwise be opposed to that sort of global policeman role. The tone is Cecil Rhodes meets Your Angry Mother: “Don’t make me come over there—- All right, I warned you…” For instance, Instapundit points to an article titled Confessions Of An Isolationist Wannabe, where John Hawkins wonders how the U.S. became the “designated driver for the planet”, given—- of course—- that Americans are isolationist by nature. “So how the hell” he asks, quite reasonably, “did we end up with our fingers in every bowl of soup from Bahrain to Brazil?”
Well, obviously, it’s because the kids can’t be trusted to play by themselves. U.S. interventions in your part of the world are For Your Own Good and carried out strictly on sufferance:
It’s because we’re not content to sit around on our behinds while the entire planet collapses without us. … Hell, if we took twenty years off it wouldn’t surprise me to look at a map and see nothing but a giant swath of China red covering all of Europe, skulls & crossbones covering all of Africa, and nothing but a green patch with the words ‘Forbidden Zone’ where the Middle East used to be. We’re the only thing keeping the planet from reverting back to an early 1800’s style plunder, war, and rampage philosophy.
Concisely put. (Especially the “Forbidden Zone” reference. Think “Planet of the Arabs.”) But Kipling said it better:
Take up the White Man’s burden—In patience to abide,
To veil the threat of terror
And check the show of pride;
By open speech and simple,
An hundred times made plain
To seek another’s profit,
And work another’s gain.Take up the White Man’s burden—The savage wars of peace—Fill full the mouth of Famine
And bid the sickness cease;
And when your goal is nearest
The end for others sought,
Watch sloth and heathen Folly
Bring all your hopes to nought…
Come to think of it, Randy Newman does, too:
No one likes us
I don’t know why.
We may not be perfect
But heaven knows we try.
But all around even our old friends put us down.
Let’s drop the big one and see what happens.We give them money
But are they grateful?
No they’re spiteful
And they’re hateful.
They don’t respect us so let’s surprise them;
We’ll drop the big one and pulverize them.Now Asia’s crowded
And Europe’s too old.
Africa’s far too hot,
And Canada’s too cold.
And South America stole our name.
Let’s drop the big one; there’ll be no one left to blame us.
You don’t often get to quote Rudyard Kipling and Randy Newman at the same time.
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