Kieran Healy’s Weblog Sociology and other distractions

Quintessence of Trivia

Roger Ailes links to the King Williams College General Knowledge Paper, which is apparently administered to pupils of the school each year. I have mixed feelings about these kinds of quizzes. On the one hand, I hate them, because—- and this is especially true in this case—- they represent little more than accumulated cultural capital. Any quiz with 10 questions on different Archbishops of Canterbury and 10 more on different mistresses of monarchs really is not worth getting into. Unless you have precisely the right kind of schooling (the sort that gained and later lost Britain its Empire, essentially) you are bound to do very badly indeed. Besides, it’s completely meaningless. George Orwell has the best critique of this sort of crap in his essay “Such, Such Were the Joys”:

There was in those days a piece of nonsense called the Harrow History Prize … At Crossgates we mugged up on every paper that had been set since the competition started. They were the kind of stupid question that is answered by rapping out a name or quotation. Who plundered the Begams? Who was beheaded in an open boat? Who caught the Whigs bathing and ran away with their clothes?

On the other hand, it’s an unfortunate fact that I am much better at these sorts of questions than I am at useful things like, say, algebra. So I can never resist having a crack. Here are the ones I think I got about right, along with some guesses. Correct me if I’m wrong.

1. “In 1902”
1-1. Trick question. Edward VII is the wrong answer. I don’t know the right one.
1-6. Thorneycroft.

2. In which town or city:
2-1. Bah. Should know this one.
2-4. Istanbul. (Haga Sofia.)

3. Who lost:
3-3. Tycho Brahe, I think.
3-5. Douglas Bader, maybe? (Definitely lost the legs, but I thought he survived the war.)
3-10. Lord Nelson.

4. [No Title]
4-3. Dick Turpin.
4-9. Don Quixote.

5. [No Title]
Nope, sorry, haven’t a clue.

6. Numerically, what or where:
6-2. Are they looking for a particular one here?

7. Which Archbishop of Canterbury:
You’re joking, right? On principle, though, St Thomas a Beckett must be the right answer to one of these.

8. Who depicted himself:
8-4. Van Gogh.

9. What:
9-4. Some kind of fancy cheese, I imagine.

10. With whom did the following share his majesty’s bedchamber:
Hahahahahaha. Sorry. Move along.

11. Ossify:
What? If I knew the rule I’d have a go.

12. [No title]
12-1. Nora.
12-3. Alec Guinness.
12-4. Errol Flynn.
12-5. Dunno. Molesworth? William?

13. [No title.]
13-5. Chuck Berry. (Right?)
13-8. The thing they used on D-Day. I think it was called the Mulberry.
13-10. Strawberry Fields.

14. What:
14-2. The Sirocco? But I thought that went the other way.
14-9. El Nino?

15. Where, in Europe, is:
Not a clue on any of these, alas.

16. At what time:
16-4. At noon, I think. (When mad dogs and Englishmen go out, etc, right?)
16-8. In the morning sometime.
16-9. Don’t know. Check your Jules Verne.
16-10. 8pm. (Thank you Patrick O’Brian. And why are they called dogwatches? Because they are curtailed, of course.)

17. Where:
17-6. At Oxford? Is this the Pepys library?
17-8. It was on a spike outside the tower for several years I think. Now probably on Ebay.

18. In 2002:
18-1. England (one hopes).
18-3. Probably Ronald McDonald.
18-7. Spain, I think.

That’s too many questions and not enough answers. Oh well.

Your answer to 3.3 is correct. Tycho Brahe did loose his nose in a duel and wore a silver prosthesis.
A funny fact is that when he ate soup, he would often drop his nose into it, because the wax that glued it to his face was dissolved by the heat.

18-3. Probably Ronald McDonald.

It’s Margaret Thatcher, actually. Remarkably, the jury didn’t convict the decapitator.

Some guesses of mine:

3-2 – his hair, while asleep on his lover’s knees?

Samson?

10-5 – Marquise de Pompadour?

Louis xv? Is Marquise the same as Mme de Pompadour?

13-4 – who escaped to Jackson’s Island?

Jim and Huck Finn, I think. It’s from Twain, anyway.

14-6 – Egyptian phenomenon has a fifty day periodicity?

The flooding of the Nile?

15-5. Oceanus drawn by two sea-horses and two tritons?

Rome? Isn’t this the Bernini fountain? Or am I making things up?

Kieran, this reminds me of the time we sat in the Green Hall computer lab – remember those good old graduate student days?!:) – and were trying to make our way through the Hungarian high school English language test. There were several native English speakers in the group plus some of us who may not be native but are pretty fluent nonetheless.. and we still couldn’t get all the answers right! Similar nonsense.. nice to remember though the fun we had making our way through it together.

For more possible answers to the questions try look at this site:
http://www.petebevin.com/archives/000426.html#000426

Section 5 all appear to be references to Noel Coward. Mrs Worthington’s daughter was “said at the school of acting to be lovely as Peer Gynt/But I think on the whole that an ingenue role would emphasise her squint”, and “London Pride” is a flower that’s free. I’m pretty sure they picked this because you can’t find any of Moel Coward’s lyrics on the Web.

Section 9 are all cheeses.

Edam is “made in reverse”, as per a rather bad old joke. Yarm is nettle-wrapped in Cornwall. and for question 7, there is a pub off Fleet Street called Ye Olde Chesire Cheese.

“Ossify” means “turn into bone”, which makes that section look rather easy, I think; for example a “small key” is a clavicle. You just need to translate the terms into Latin and say what bones they are.

17 are all places in Cambridge, not Oxford. The clue is 4; an apostrophe distinguishes Queens College Cambridge from (The) Queen’s College Oxford.

18-1 is Kenneth (they think it’s all over) Wolstenholme. 18-5 is Lonnie Donnegan (my old man’s a dustman)

Soooo, a section on Cambridge Colleges, a section on Noel Coward, a section on exotic Cheeses, a section on Archbishops of Canterbury, a section on Monarchical totty… from such knowledge was history’s largest Empire forged.

I should’ve gotten the ‘made in reverse’, though.

So far I only like the section on berrys—- I’ll have to go back and look at the other questions now that I’ve notived that.