Kieran Healy

Dealing with Philosophers

Brian Weatherson’s Philosophy Weblog is lots of fun for philosophers, and his Online Papers in Philosophy is a great service for them. I’ve been meaning to link to him for a while. Seeing as he was just talking about Laurie (my significantly smarter other) this seems like a good time.

I drop by Brian’s blog to keep my philosopher-bugging skills sharp. The important thing to know about philosophers—- especially the metaphysics, epistemology and mind people—- is that, when they are with other philosophers, they are incapable of doing anything except arguing the finer points of some thesis or other. This means that, if you (as I do routinely) find yourself having dinner with a bunch of them, you must decide how to react to the buzz of premises, syllogisms and counterexamples flying around you. Three main responses are possible.

First, you can tune out altogether and play with your food, read a book or listen to a CD or something. This is rude, but philosophers are generally pretty undersocialized and probably won’t care, or even notice. If you don’t participate, you may still occasionally be called on by somone wanting to “test” the plausibility of some allegedly intuitive premise or conclusion on an “untainted” (i.e., empty) mind such as yours.

Second, you can try to keep up with the conversation and join in the argument as a bona fide participant. This is not recommended.

Third, you can absorb just enough of the substance and terminology to ask irritating questions and make incorrect observations that sidetrack the discussion. This is a moderately risky strategy, but by far the most enjoyable one. Useful phrases in this context include, “Doesn’t that violate local supervenience?”, “I thought that tropes were supposed to deal with that problem”, and “I didn’t think it had that connotation in the original Greek.” A more general approach is to say things like “Well, it’s all just subjective anyway, right?”, “It’s not as if there’s really a right answer, eh?” or “Hasn’t science made philosophy irrelevant?” Bonus points for being able to move back and forth between the last two questions, as needed.

Notice how he sweetens the pill with “my significantly smarter other.” I haven’t decided yet whether it’s (a) or (b).

Philosophers

I think I may have picked up some of the annoying philosopher traits Kieran Healy describes, but as a lowly

The flash of recognition followed by seizure-inducing laughter that this post provoked in my (lawyer) s.o. suggests that you may be onto something.

“Third, you can absorb just enough of the substance and terminology to ask irritating questions and make incorrect observations that sidetrack the discussion.”

You can blog, in other words.

This must be an Irish thing, taking chances like that with a woman :-) :-) :-)

Metaphysical Fame

It looks like I was performing a public service when I recently posted about how to deal with philosophers, because

Interestingly, I often find myself in a similar situation with my smarter, prettier wife, who is a doctor. Except when the doctors getting going, the topics tend to be a little ickier.

I should warn you, philosopher-bugging can be a dangerous game. Brian Weatherson doesn’t seem to think so, but philosophers are experts at bugging you back. Heck, sometimes we can do it without even trying….

My favorite technique:
Non-philosopher: (completely innocuous remark)
Philosopher: “That raises an interesting philosophical point….”

It can bug the hell out of non-philosophers when you refuse to take the bait:

s.o: “Those two cars are identical!

me:

s.o: “You were thinking it, weren’t you!!

me: “Thinking what?”

&cetera….

Heh—that’s when you know you’ve got inside their head.

“What do you mean, get inside their head? In what sense? That can’t be done….”

Perturbing Conversations

If ten philosophers are talking in one room, and ten political junkies are talking in another, where could one idiot do the most damage?

You think you got problems? I’m married to an astrophysicist/rocket scientist. You can make up philosophy as you go, but try that with physics and you might destroy the universe. Or something.

MKK

For math, there’s logicians, algebraists, and analysts. For logicians, see how to annoy philosophers. For the others, you only need to insert the correct offhand comment for hours of fun:
Algebraists—“Ah, but what if the ring (or field) isn’t algebraically closed?”
Analysts—“But isn’t there a problem at the boundary/with the boundary conditions?”

Lovely post. Interesting comments. And lots of fun was had by all.

But you are talking about a particular species: analytic philosopher circa 1980.

They deserve A BIT OF TOECUTTING. My experience of them for over 15 years in an academic department in a gum tree university in Australia was that they hada lot of fun at the expense of sociologists in the social sciences.

That particular species was Marxist analytic philosopher circa 1980: a dying bred.

I enjoyed the post and comments. But why no continental philosophers?

Having fun with Philosophers

I really enjoyed this post by Kieran Healy Dealing with Philosophers. Lots of fun. Witty comments. Analytic male philosophers are a strange species. Low on people skills strong on clarity and rigor. They were doing grunge before it became a style state…

I do not seem to be moving in the right circles to try the third method detailed above. No philosophers near me at all. Only ecologists and social workers. And dolebludgers. I suppose i could try “Doesn’t that violate local supervenience?” when I wake up in the morning before I have decided to definitely have that coffee.