Kieran Healy

Public Service Announcement

The Dept of Homeland Security would like to take this opportunity to explain the current political situation to you all.

	Reports about North Korea are disturbing.
	We don’t want to act as though the sky is falling on our heads…
	But North Korea’s Nuclear capability is quite frightening. The CIA says their ballistic missiles could hit the west coast. Their leader is a bit loony, too.
	That might mean no more San Francisco.
	But the message about this nuclear threat is not getting through to the right people.
	Instead, they are paying attention to Iraq, looking for nasty weapons (though not as nasty as nukes). Soon they will invade.
	We are invading because Saddam has nuclear weapons, is in league with Al Qaeda, is in material breach of U.N. resolutions, is a very bad man indeed, who gassed his own people, and the United States has never ignored, tolerated or supported that sort of thing when it suited us. Well, OK, maybe we did, but Donald Rumsfeld is really sorry for helping Saddam in the 1980s. He sees that was wrong now, and wants to make amends.
	Many people have been protesting the proposed attack.
	They think it is not in U.S. interests, is a distraction from preventing further terrorist attacks, or might lead to a big geopolitical disaster or long-term mess.
	But the White House is ignoring these protests, because policy is not made by focus groups. At least, not by focus groups made up of loony-left hippy-dippy fifth-column protestors, anyway. (Who knew there were quite so many of them? Some of them were even disguised as normal people.) And the war’s going to be over really quick anyway.
	Besides, if things get messy after the invasion, we can always back out…
	…and wash our hands of the whole thing. Right?
	In the meantime, don’t buy any of that fancy French food. It isn’t patriotic.
	Attorney General Ashcroft would also like you to lay off the book-reading for a while.
	And remember, Don’t Mess with Texas.

If you’re confused

by the many fine illustrations on the new Department of Homeland Security web site, Kieran Healy can explain them all.

Speaking of making sense…

Explanations of the new Homeland Security clipart. Link via Electrolite and Cory.

I knew I wouldn’t be the only one – compare and contrast with this parody of the entire Homeland Security site.

That is sheer genius—I loved it!

Maciej, that rocks.

Maciej, that rocks.

well done! I love the graphics. Mark’s comment above is fitting… “genius”.

Brilliant! At some point we need to have a beer.

Your Tax Dollars at Work II

Because I don’t know when to stop… The National Organization for Women frowns upon being called “Fish and Birds” The

I’d like to know what you all make of this, which is the picture I’ve put together after looking far and wide. I’m not even an American, although I’ve spent time in the country, so I’d like to know what people who’ve spent their whole lives there think.

but humor saves the day

parodies of the new Ready.gov: – Public Service Announcement – “helping America prepare for fiery death”

TerrorToons

Since Homeland Security’s terror-preparedness site has generously provided us with hilarious Airtoons-like safety graphics, it’…

I myself saw the opportunity for a new Marvel Comics character…

Linkdump

Aaronvitch asks questions that rightly need asking, marchers attempt to provide some answers The Sony P800 is now available

Brilliant.

The Bushopranos

The Village Voice is running the Bushopranos, a cartoon based on the theme of the Bush Crime Family. Also, Duct

Excellent…especially that little Ashcroft comment at the end!

Intro to geopolitics

Kieran Healy has a short introduction to geopolitics for six year olds. Cool graphics though.

Excellent – I would like to share more but I have to wash my hands…

More Ready.gov remixes

Ready.gov remixes: idlewords.com Kieran Healy

I get the fact that this is supposed to be an amusing little satire, but all I really see is an oversimplification and a way to ignore some of the good arguments for paying attention to Iraq, specifically that if unchecked Iraq could become a North Korea.
I know there is space for a whole debate here, but I guess I’ve just gotten tired of the jokes on both sides about how the other side is a bunch of looney hippies or crazed pro-war hawks.

Trite, facile, and totally unconvincing.

in case of explosion or fire, bitchslap anyone that comes between you and the nearest exit.

I especially like the lines crossed through reasons that would actually make sense to go to war.
The pro-war argument rests on faith in Bush.

Belittling READY.GOV

The latest craze in the blogosphere is apparently to make fun of READY.GOV, the Department of Homeland Security’s website where…

argu-form 2000:
[several $5 words]
[derisive comment]
[several more $5 words]
[personal attack]

I think that first/top image is “Make sure you are tuned into Fox News, the Homeland Security Emergency Broadcast System”.

Così, tanto per non generare ulteriore panico

Un tempo, quando dovevi andare militare, ti spedivano una cartolina a casa. Oggi la cartolina arriva per avvertirti che sono i militari che stanno venendo a casa tua. Il dipartimento statunitense per la sicurezza dei cittadini ha infatti preparato un

I was wondering what the site map they used to plan out ready.gov might have looked like…

points of intersection

Too much time on my hands today…it’s the calm before the grading storm, with final web class projects due at

Fantastic. Found you from Junius and you’re now on my blogroll.

Loved it

applause

y’know, the “official” sites dont tell us what to do in case of rampant governmental stupidity.

Ready.gov parody

You know what’s all the rage? Ready.gov parodies. Check out idlewords, insubordinate, Kieran Healy, and YayHooray. Maybe even buy a

Get ready

This is priceless (from Kieran

it’s time to get serious.
http://soccerriot.com/ready/

i’d love to archive this stuff.

Count the parodies!

Alright now – let’s count the ready.gov parodies (and don’t EVEN get me started on that bullshit): one, two, three, four (I’ll take one!), five, six, seven, eight, nine. And no doubt there’s probably three hundred or so I’m missing. Watch this spot lat…

Dept. of Homeland Security info-graphics

I can’t stop laughing and if I were drinking milk it would be coming out of my nose. Here’s a

Check out this animation

http://www.gialames.com/reminder.html

I did my own take on the Be Ready graphics! You have to wonder who put that thing together! Good stuff here.

Isso resume o que está acontecendo

Leia isto e entenda de uma forma simples e divertida, porque homens maus e egoístas com muito poder nas

this was practically uplifting. bravo!

Well, there’s another one that’s a pretty good parody at http://www.unready.net—I enjoyed your story line.

Get ready for terror!

http://www.terrorready.net

you know if they had their way they’d duct tape everyone that didn’t think like them and force them into fox news channel thought control camps where they brainwash and scare people into conforming or downplaying any sort of dissent as being unamerican-which is funny because having the right to disagree-well at least for now-is the only reason why i’m still here.

ready.gov spoof

Public Service Announcement ready.gov clipart deconstructed. Painfully funny.

for your enjoyment, i bring you http://track7.vze.com/ready.html

These parodies are quite amusing to those of us NBC warfare qualified, and hopefully informative to the majority of ‘Uninformed’ that visit here(however, I’d have my doubts). Ignorance and denial make excellent therapy, eh ?

Here’s another good one.

http://www.cafepress.com/ready2004

And another one:

http://www.cafeshops.com/ready_2004

And another one:

http://www.cafeshops.com/ready_2004

Haha, it made me giggle. I also like the texas thing…everyone likes bashing texas…I do it all the time!

“sheer genius” ,”brilliant”,”luuved it!”,”*applause*”,”fantastic” …Please! people,let me get out of your way so you can go get your double-mocha frappachino. Take some responsibility for your actions,choices and words. 3000 people are dead and more will surely follow. I walk by the trade center every day. Don’t treat this with frivolous giggles. I like the way all these quips only attack the surface subjects and the hollywood types only regurg their info from the Hans Blix puppet and the front page of newsweek. These bandwagon Grandstanders have almost universally no long term experience on this topic. (every one is an expert.right?)If you want to read something that will require you to think(sorry no pictures)click
http://www.aynrand.org/medialink/endterrorism.shtml

Yawn

Idlewords doesn’t have a parody of the entire site; Duct Tape and Baling Wire does.

Idlewords doesn’t have a parody of the entire site; Duct Tape and Baling Wire does.

HAHA, god bless the USA..

This is so awesome. It’s like you put all my views together and into picture form ^_ .

excellent-emailed the site’s address to my friends (you should too) God Bless the 1st Amendment (and the rest of america…)

funniest thing I ever read.

hey brendan, wasn’t that the reason AFGHANISTAN was invaded? I guess Bush just ran out of reasons to attack…or maybe his speechwriters did….
anyways, great site, i love all of these!

Great website

I love this!

Very nice… I’m really impressed by how you’re not afraid to show off your viewpoint. I love it!

Not to be mean or anything, but don’t listen to anything else Camille says. She’s one of those crazy people.

Funny. So funny I sent a copy of this URL to Dept of Homeland Security and the FBI. You never can tell now, can you?

Awesome web page man!

Awesome web page man!

Original Message

From: Scarano (E-mail); Scarano, Michael NAD

Sent: Tuesday, September 09, 2003 12:28 PM

Subject: Coming Soon…. The SAME North Atlantic Regional Training Conference October 8- 10, 2003

Dear SAME Members and interested Guests,

If you haven’t already done so, there is still time to register for the 2003 North Atlantic Regional Training Conference, to be held at the beautify Embassy Suites hotel, in downtown Manhattan. Our conference site is adjacent to “Ground Zero” and is a fitting location for us to celebrate our theme, “Engineers Securing Our Future.”

The Society of American Military Engineers, a national organization of over 25,000 military and civilian engineers dedicated to the national defense. This event is an annual “regional” conference hosted by USACE Brigadier General Meredith Temple, North Atlantic Division, Commanding. Ken Maxwell is our featured Luncheon Speaker. The conference theme “Engineers Securing our Future” is intended to focus attention on the reconstruction of Ground Zero and on securing other components of our critical infrastructure.

There will be five Tracks each with at least four sessions of one-hour duration each. (Refer to web site: http://www.nyc2003same.com)

The Project Manager Course Track A: 4 Sessions to complete certificate program

The Homeland Security Track B is outlined below:

Track B Session 1: Law Enforcement Panel includes Mike Sheehan (NYPD Office of Counter Terrorism), Joseph Billy (FBI), Steve Iannucci (Secret Service), John Scanlon (NYS Public Security), Hilda Kogut (Rockland Cty Public Safety) covering:

Threat (harbor, transportation, infrastructure, institutions and public)
Protection (preventive measures by each agency charged with a mission to protect)
Response (immediate life / property saving actions and criminal apprehension issues)
Recovery (return damaged or degraded facilities to productive use)

Track B Session 2: Vulnerability Analysis Presented by Colonel Badolato (Nationally recognized Counter Terrorism expert), Gary Kehoe (North Atlantic Division Security/Law Enforcement) Risk management, asset preservation, analytical techniques, hardening, training requirements, protective and response action planning.

Track B Session 3: Chemical and Biological Defense Presented by Bill Zinnikas (FBI), and Dr Ken Hayes (Aqua Surveys) What A/E’s, responders and planners need to know regarding detection, response and recovery.

Track B Session 4 (2 hours): Radiological Defense Presented by CM Wood (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention), and Dr. John Mauro (Nationally recognized Radiological Risk expert) What A/E’s, responders and planners need to know regarding detection, response and recovery.

The Waterborne Infrastructure Track C is outlined below:

Track C Session 1: Ports and Harbor Issues and Opportunities North Atlantic Division, Corps Panel Moderator Marie Vanderpool reporting navigational needs, planning activities and opportunities. Featured invited panelists are: Joe Seebode, Tom Ferdette, Jeff McKee, and Roy Denmark.

Track C Session 2: Harbor Security Featuring an international Agency Panel (comprised of USCG, Activities NY, Canadian Coast Guard, Port Authority, NationsPort and invited Elected Officials ) discuss implications of the Maritime Transportation Security Act of 2002 and address:

Threat (harbor, transportation, infrastructure, institutions and public)
Protection (preventive measures by each agency charged with a mission to protect)
Response (immediate life / property saving actions)
Recovery (return to normal port operations)
Track C Session 3: Beneficial Reuse of Dredged Sediment Featuring: Sediment Dredging Technology Issues, Ocean and Upland Placement and Beneficial Use and Sediment Decontamination. Eric Stern (EPA), John Henningson and Scott Douglas (NJDOT OMR) invited to address the question: Now that we have to dredge, what do we do with it, how long will it take and how much will it cost?

Track C Session 4: Greening the Port Track Moderator Eric Stern answers the question: Who are the beneficiaries? Navy Captain (ret) Bill Nurthen (Port Authority of NY/NJ), Gene Peck and Mike Mensinger (invited) will add perspective.

The Landside Infrastructure is Track D is outlined below:

Track D Session 1: Port Authority NY&NJ-NYSDOT – Downtown Restoration

Track D Session 2: MTA-NYCT-Metro North & LIRR - Transit Sys. /Tunnels

Track D Session 3: NY & NJ DOT Panel – Innovative Technologies and

Approaches, – Design/Build, ITS, MPT, Innovations, HOT Lanes

Track D Session 4: NYC Watershed’s Sustainable Infrastructure – Security, Quality, Delivery, Maintenance, And Capital Construction Program

The Small Business Track E is outlined below:

Track E Session 1: Networking and Marketing Skills, Linda McKnight

Purpose: To discuss networking and marketing skills to make a positive memorable impact. Goal: To provide participants information about how to prepare for networking; how to introduce themselves to make an impact; what information they should have available; format for information; how to prepare for: face to face – phone & mail/E-mail.

Track E Session 2: Small Business Administration, Motivational, Melanie Sabelhaus, Deputy Director, Small Business Administration Purpose: An update on SB programs that will assist SB firms and of interest to large business. Goal: Attendees will find out about SBA initiatives to support SB and the intent if Congress to support them.

Track E Session 3: Veteran & SDVSB Information, Charles Henry, President, Veteran’s Corporation Purpose: To provide information for Veteran and SDVSB firms to market federal agencies and commercial entities. Goal: To identify websites for Veterans and SDVOSB to use to find contract opportunities. Provide ACQ personnel websites to find Veteran and SDVOSB qualified firms.

Track E Session 4: How to Market, Compete & Win a GSA Schedule, Jeffrey Manthos, GSA

Purpose: To provide the participants tools about how to go about obtaining a contract under the GSA schedule. Goal: The firms will learn how to develop the proposal, how the schedule is used and how to market agencies to use the schedule contract.

Track E Session 5: Building the Tool Box, Jeff Hills Purpose: To demonstrate to small business the process used in making bid/no bid decisions, and putting together a team for the project. Goal: to provide the participants an understanding of how to develop the decision process to bid, to put together a team and develop a proposal for a solicitation using the following tools: Interdisciplinary Planning; Workprocess Mapping; & Story Boarding.

Quick references:

CONFERENCE INFO AND REGISTRATION: http://www.nyc2003same.com

EMBASSY SUITES ADDRESS: 102 North End Avenue, NY, NY 10281

EMBASSY SUITES RESERVATION LINE: (800) EMBASSY

Support New York and Support SAME! See you at the conference!

Mike

MICHAEL SCARANO, P.E.

Secretary

New York City Post

The Society of American Military Engineers

Comm. Tel. (718) 765-7112 or (718) 921-5206

FAX (718) 504-4281

Original Message

From: Scarano (E-mail); Scarano, Michael NAD

Sent: Tuesday, September 09, 2003 12:28 PM

Subject: Coming Soon…. The SAME North Atlantic Regional Training Conference October 8- 10, 2003

Dear SAME Members and interested Guests,

If you haven’t already done so, there is still time to register for the 2003 North Atlantic Regional Training Conference, to be held at the beautify Embassy Suites hotel, in downtown Manhattan. Our conference site is adjacent to “Ground Zero” and is a fitting location for us to celebrate our theme, “Engineers Securing Our Future.”

The Society of American Military Engineers, a national organization of over 25,000 military and civilian engineers dedicated to the national defense. This event is an annual “regional” conference hosted by USACE Brigadier General Meredith Temple, North Atlantic Division, Commanding. Ken Maxwell is our featured Luncheon Speaker. The conference theme “Engineers Securing our Future” is intended to focus attention on the reconstruction of Ground Zero and on securing other components of our critical infrastructure.

There will be five Tracks each with at least four sessions of one-hour duration each. (Refer to web site: http://www.nyc2003same.com)

The Project Manager Course Track A: 4 Sessions to complete certificate program

The Homeland Security Track B is outlined below:

Track B Session 1: Law Enforcement Panel includes Mike Sheehan (NYPD Office of Counter Terrorism), Joseph Billy (FBI), Steve Iannucci (Secret Service), John Scanlon (NYS Public Security), Hilda Kogut (Rockland Cty Public Safety) covering:

Threat (harbor, transportation, infrastructure, institutions and public)
Protection (preventive measures by each agency charged with a mission to protect)
Response (immediate life / property saving actions and criminal apprehension issues)
Recovery (return damaged or degraded facilities to productive use)

Track B Session 2: Vulnerability Analysis Presented by Colonel Badolato (Nationally recognized Counter Terrorism expert), Gary Kehoe (North Atlantic Division Security/Law Enforcement) Risk management, asset preservation, analytical techniques, hardening, training requirements, protective and response action planning.

Track B Session 3: Chemical and Biological Defense Presented by Bill Zinnikas (FBI), and Dr Ken Hayes (Aqua Surveys) What A/E’s, responders and planners need to know regarding detection, response and recovery.

Track B Session 4 (2 hours): Radiological Defense Presented by CM Wood (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention), and Dr. John Mauro (Nationally recognized Radiological Risk expert) What A/E’s, responders and planners need to know regarding detection, response and recovery.

The Waterborne Infrastructure Track C is outlined below:

Track C Session 1: Ports and Harbor Issues and Opportunities North Atlantic Division, Corps Panel Moderator Marie Vanderpool reporting navigational needs, planning activities and opportunities. Featured invited panelists are: Joe Seebode, Tom Ferdette, Jeff McKee, and Roy Denmark.

Track C Session 2: Harbor Security Featuring an international Agency Panel (comprised of USCG, Activities NY, Canadian Coast Guard, Port Authority, NationsPort and invited Elected Officials ) discuss implications of the Maritime Transportation Security Act of 2002 and address:

Threat (harbor, transportation, infrastructure, institutions and public)
Protection (preventive measures by each agency charged with a mission to protect)
Response (immediate life / property saving actions)
Recovery (return to normal port operations)
Track C Session 3: Beneficial Reuse of Dredged Sediment Featuring: Sediment Dredging Technology Issues, Ocean and Upland Placement and Beneficial Use and Sediment Decontamination. Eric Stern (EPA), John Henningson and Scott Douglas (NJDOT OMR) invited to address the question: Now that we have to dredge, what do we do with it, how long will it take and how much will it cost?

Track C Session 4: Greening the Port Track Moderator Eric Stern answers the question: Who are the beneficiaries? Navy Captain (ret) Bill Nurthen (Port Authority of NY/NJ), Gene Peck and Mike Mensinger (invited) will add perspective.

The Landside Infrastructure is Track D is outlined below:

Track D Session 1: Port Authority NY&NJ-NYSDOT – Downtown Restoration

Track D Session 2: MTA-NYCT-Metro North & LIRR - Transit Sys. /Tunnels

Track D Session 3: NY & NJ DOT Panel – Innovative Technologies and

Approaches, – Design/Build, ITS, MPT, Innovations, HOT Lanes

Track D Session 4: NYC Watershed’s Sustainable Infrastructure – Security, Quality, Delivery, Maintenance, And Capital Construction Program

The Small Business Track E is outlined below:

Track E Session 1: Networking and Marketing Skills, Linda McKnight

Purpose: To discuss networking and marketing skills to make a positive memorable impact. Goal: To provide participants information about how to prepare for networking; how to introduce themselves to make an impact; what information they should have available; format for information; how to prepare for: face to face – phone & mail/E-mail.

Track E Session 2: Small Business Administration, Motivational, Melanie Sabelhaus, Deputy Director, Small Business Administration Purpose: An update on SB programs that will assist SB firms and of interest to large business. Goal: Attendees will find out about SBA initiatives to support SB and the intent if Congress to support them.

Track E Session 3: Veteran & SDVSB Information, Charles Henry, President, Veteran’s Corporation Purpose: To provide information for Veteran and SDVSB firms to market federal agencies and commercial entities. Goal: To identify websites for Veterans and SDVOSB to use to find contract opportunities. Provide ACQ personnel websites to find Veteran and SDVOSB qualified firms.

Track E Session 4: How to Market, Compete & Win a GSA Schedule, Jeffrey Manthos, GSA

Purpose: To provide the participants tools about how to go about obtaining a contract under the GSA schedule. Goal: The firms will learn how to develop the proposal, how the schedule is used and how to market agencies to use the schedule contract.

Track E Session 5: Building the Tool Box, Jeff Hills Purpose: To demonstrate to small business the process used in making bid/no bid decisions, and putting together a team for the project. Goal: to provide the participants an understanding of how to develop the decision process to bid, to put together a team and develop a proposal for a solicitation using the following tools: Interdisciplinary Planning; Workprocess Mapping; & Story Boarding.

Quick references:

CONFERENCE INFO AND REGISTRATION: http://www.nyc2003same.com

EMBASSY SUITES ADDRESS: 102 North End Avenue, NY, NY 10281

EMBASSY SUITES RESERVATION LINE: (800) EMBASSY

Support New York and Support SAME! See you at the conference!

Mike

MICHAEL SCARANO, P.E.

Secretary

New York City Post

The Society of American Military Engineers

Comm. Tel. (718) 765-7112 or (718) 921-5206

FAX (718) 504-4281

Duck and Roll and Hail Mary

In the tradition of Ready.gov parodies such as this and this, the Curt Jester has made use of anti-terror clipart in his Liturgy for Ignoramuses….

Great comments guys. Peter FDA

Duck and cower

The ready.gov parodies are springing up all over the place and some of them are bloody funny – yayhooray (from…