Comments on: Things I Can’t be Wrong About

By: Tim

Tim — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

How about, “there’s a link between al Qaeda and Saddam Hussein?” Wrong number; taxi not here.

By: Delphi

Delphi — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Ok, hold on. Marty! Hey, Marty!
Marty wants to know who’s calling.
This is Bob.
Marty, its Bob!
Bobbb!
Bob, Marty says he’s busy now, and he doesn’t want to talk to you.
He says don’t call back, he’ll call you later this week. Sounds like you really did something to him, I haven’t seen him this angry in a long time. Bye

By: Martial

Martial — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Interesting that both examples rely on the experience of using a telephone.

In fact, I’d offer that you know when your phone is dead. But, of course, only if you’re trying to use it.

By: marcum

marcum — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Many exist. There is a country singer, Bill Engvall, who commited an entire album on these interactions. The lyrics of his song, “Here’s Your Sign” are especially salient.
Here’s Your Sign

And who could forget George Carlin’s humor? He tends to deal more with institutional or inherent interactions of this nature. “Why do we park in a driveway and drive in a parkway?”

By: Kevin Drum

Kevin Drum — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Well, I’ve had this feeling when someone tells me something like, “But you said yesterday that your mother’s name was Emily.”

Now sure, I can be wrong about things, but why would I say my mother’s name was Emily when I know perfectly well it isn’t? This happens every once in a while with things that I know I couldn’t have said because I know I’ve never believed them.

By: William Sjostrom

William Sjostrom — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

How about this?

Caller: Is Marty there?
Me: What number were you trying to reach?
Caller: 555-1234
Me: Sorry, you rang 555-1235

Much easier.

By: Eric Grannan

Eric Grannan — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Whether the cable guy came to my apartment. They were supposed to show between 12 and 4. I’m there the whole time. I call cable company at 4:15.

Me: Your guy never showed.
Them: No, he came at 3:15, no one was there.
Me: I was here.
Them: No, he called in and said no one was there.
Me: What address was he at?
Them: [correct address]
Me: That’s the right address, but he wasn’t here.
[continues for about 10 more exchanges]

I’m still not sure what happened. At first they wanted to punish me by not scheduling another appointment for 2 weeks, but they ended up giving in and scheduling the next day. The next guy showed up half an hour early, fortunately I was there.

By: John Isbell

John Isbell — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

A had quite a good one about twenty years ago, working as a bus boy in a restaurant in Boston. Bus boy rule #1: Don’t talk to the diners. But this guy apostrophized me, so I replied. He looks at me, and goes:
“Are you DANISH?”
“No, English, actually.”
Pause. Pointing at me: “Well, your ACCENT’S Danish.”

By: matt pfeffer

matt pfeffer — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

The best is later being told of one’s antics while drunk at a party some time previous, where one was observed singing Queen songs with a gaggle of similarly inebriated Russians from next door, but at which time one was in fact in the midst of a month-long trek through the Andes.

By: Jeffrey Kramer

Jeffrey Kramer — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

I’ve had a few deja vus with this one:

STUDENT: Are we having class on Thursday?
ME (the teacher): Yes.
STUDENT: Are you sure? Because my friend said it was cancelled…