Kieran Healy

Variations on a Theme

We all know “Dog Bites Man” is not news, though it can be poetry. The recent, widely-covered Man Bites Dog incident is the classic antithesis. In this case a drunken guy bit a police dog outside a bar. But what about the other permutations? Bite Dogs Man: Human-interest follow-up on the previous story: Man cannot shake bad reputation following the dog-biting incident and now has trouble finding work. Man Dogs Bite: Sympathetic profile of local postal worker. Alternatively, local resident is extremely persistent in his pursuit of the perfect snack. Bite Mans Dog: For the first time in his short career, Able Seaman Bite is assigned on deck from 6pm to 8pm. “I thought it was a prank at first,” he says. Dog Man Bites: Another effort at genetic engineering is judged a miserable failure.

I could go on, but perhaps it’s best not to.

How about Dogs Man Bit: a sort of photographic retrospective of life as a hot-dog taster.

You’re right. Best not to go on.

As the spouse of someone who is on the tenure-track, I marvel at this post. (For the record, I laughed at it too.)

“Dog bites, man.”— comment after coast-to-coast Greyhound bus ride.