Kieran Healy

Money-Making Opportunity

I’m still in Austin at this conference. A sign on my hotel-room desk says that the bottle of Evian on top of my minibar will cost me $3.50 if I open it. My plan is to drink the water, go to the nearest convenience store, buy a replacement bottle for $1.25 and put it on the minibar. That way I make a profit of $1.75 on the deal, thereby maximizing value to this blog’s shareholders.

(I believe essentially the same tactic netted Enron substantial benefits.)

free market @ work.

wouldn’t it kinda suck if all convenience stores in the area also retailed bottles of evian @ the exact same price of $3.50?

p.s. whatever happened to boycotting the surrender monkeys..?

Don’t you mean $2.25? After all, you drink a bottle of water worth $3.50—thus getting $3.50 worth of utility—and then replace it with a bottle that costs $1.25. So on the one hand you have $3.50 of utility, on the other hand you are out $1.25. A difference of $2.25…

Also, go for a long noontime jog through Austin. Then when you get back to your hotel room the bottle of Evian will be worth not $3.50 to you but $35.00. You can make a utilitarian profit of $33.75 by drinking the bottle in your room and then replacing it!

What you really need is the power of multi-level marketing. For a low-low startup cost, you can get other people to sell water for you, and as the Team Manager you earn a commission for every sale your Team generates! There’s just no limit to the earning potential offered by this kind of, um, offer.

Apparently the SEC’s blog division has caught on to these shenanigans. We had fully planned to increase value to my shareholders in the same way through judicious consumption and replacement of Diet Coke during our trip last week to the Bahamas. Alas, the minibars at the Westin Our Lucaya are computer-controlled, and even moving something results in a charge. Feh.

Uhh, harm d; it looks like he isn’t. Boycotting, that is.

Haven’t you still just spent $1.25 on a bottle of water that delivers approximately the same utility as a glass of tap water? If this is what Enron was doing I have even more respect for their devious minds.

Love those local monopolies.

I like to think of the hotel room as a very large loyality card for tiny grocery story played by the fridge.

I’ve never quite understood why they don’t provide free salty snacks?

You could also buy a case of Evian and go door-to-door in the hotel, selling bottles for $2.00 each.

I bet you’d clean up.

HEALY

I’ve been remiss in reading Kieran Healy’s Weblog (not to be confused with Roger Healy’s weblog, which would be entirely different) and have until now…